Yesterday’s Feelings
by Dawn Vanessa
Summary: The corruption shunned his calling and he in turn had welcomed the darkness. One changed destiny for a chance to re-write it? A dark past a new future will Kira return ...I will like to shower with gratitude my wonderful beta- nocturnalferri
1. Chapter 1

"Yesterday's Feelings"

By: Shuheivanessa"

SUMMARY: The corruption shunned his calling and he in turn had welcomed the darkness. One changed destiny for a chance to re-write it? A dark past a new future will Kira return

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, they belong to their creators, etc. The ideas and concepts in this story are mine entirely. If you have any comments you know where to reach me …

NOTES: This is AU, crossover, etc, etc. Also, the events in my fic are going in a different direction than the events that are portrayed in the actual series. This is movie based and some anime.

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Who am I?

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"Niisan is dead ..." I can only stare in disbelief at my brother's grave. I badly wished it had all been a horrible dream but I knew better then to delude myself. Light is dead and he won't come back. I know that Mom isn't living in that delusion either. I still can't believe that so many innocent police officers died including my big brother.

It was a beautiful day and I actually wished that it were raining. In spite of this beautiful day I had felt a cold chill. I have this strange feeling that there is something wrong besides my brother's death. I am holding mom as her tears steadily run down her cheeks. Mom can't seem to look at the grave, but I do and dad, he looks like he's trying to keep himself together.

This is all wrong ... I'm ... my big brother ... he can't ... Light; I can't even say it in my own mind. I looked at my dad; I know that he is hiding something. Was your death just a coincidence Niisan? Was dad with you when you died? I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Niisan. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me and most important of all I am sorry that I was just a needy child.

I looked around once again and noticed that not only was my family here but my dad's co-workers as well. There is also a strange man that looks like a panda bear. I wonder who he is because he looks like he is also taking my brother's death very hard. The strange panda-man looks too thin and gaunt. What in the world is he wearing, is he a hobo or something to that extreme.

I also noticed that my father and some of his co-worker are looking worriedly at him. "Ryuzaki," my dad called out as he reached out to panda-chan. "Do you want to go back to my house or the hotel?" Panda-chan was still looking at my brother's grave before looking away. When he looked at us I couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped from me. His eyes were dull and lifeless; he looked at me for a while before he answered my dad in a low whisper that he wanted to go to the hotel.

Dad had offered me to take me home but I declined telling him that I was already with my friends. I feel like things should have been different. I wasn't what you needed but I had wanted to be. I had always needed you, homework, tests, but I wanted to be somebody helpful to you big brother. "Oh, how I wished I had been the older sister and to know why my brother died so I ..." then I heard it ... wish granted...

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Somewhere else...

Hotel Room...

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I finally entered my hotel room alone to await my demise. Light's father is a nice man but only in small doses. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and reminiscences. I left the room's door unlocked since I already knew that I am a dead man walking. I slumped against the wall and closed my eyes. My mind was in commotion, my appetite for sweets was dead and my heart was in pain. Even in death Light-kun still haunts me.

I remember everything so clearly, his favorite possessions, places and old haunts, everywhere I went I can clearly see him, smell him, hear his voice echoing in my mind like a broken record. Even when I had tried to drink a cup of tea the night after he died it had tasted like him. I think I'm going insane.

Why the madness, I already knew the answer but I just felt like to ask in case a high power heard me. In life Light-kun had been Kira and it had been my job to pursue him and nothing else. I already knew that I was destined to die young, but Light-kun was tainted by Kira, it was that damned shinigamis fault. If that ill-fated book hadn't happened then maybe we could had made a great duo.

The only regret that I had was that I never told him how I felt before he died. Now it didn't matter and it didn't make the pain any less. Light-kun is dead and his spirit gone to Mu and I'll die only to go to a joyless heaven without him.

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The end of a life...

Hotel Room...

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The last days barely made a vague impression on me and nothing mattered anymore. I set my affairs in order and just waited to let death take me away. I hadn't showered, eaten anything or even left the apartment since the funeral. The few times that somebody had wanted to see me I would just avoid them until they would get tired and leave me alone. I know that they are concerned, especially Mr. Yagami, I couldn't face him. Since Light-kun is gone I had no reason to interact with the Yagami household.

The last day, this is it; I finally decided to wait for death in my much loved place at my last moments, the couch. Since I haven't eaten in days and now the effort to move was more than I could muster. I was ready to face death and most importantly the one person that had mattered to me was already dead.

Light-kun, the only thing that went through my mind was that my death was on my own terms and not Kira's. This is it then, in a few moments and this will be all over. I closed my eyes and awaited death unwearyingly. A strange thought had crossed my mind ... Shouldn't I be praying by now or something like that for that matter ... I laughed a little at the absurdity of my last thoughts, shouldn't I be praying after everything I had witnessed. The deaths of many by a harmless looking note book, the disfigured creatures called shinigamis and finally the taint of a person who could have been somebody important to the future of the world.

Those thoughts have amused me since I had never believed in a high power to pray upon. Right now, I am not so sure, whoever is out there can get a good laugh out of a prayer from someone who hasn't believed in his life and is about to die.

Now let's see, what is worth praying for? I know that I don't want to die, but what's the point in that. In all seriousness, what should I pray for? I didn't believe in the supernatural but since the whole Kira fiasco I was already getting second thoughts.

I quickly filed through my memories but every one of those memories kept going back to one thing, Light-kun ... My Light ... "If anybody is out there then please save my Light from the darkness. I can feel that he was never meant to have become Kira. Sometime later for a few precious moments that Kira wasn't in control I could see that he was meant to become a great person.

I felt something wet on my cheek and realized that I was already crying. "You should have been watching out for him, if it hadn't been for that shinigami my Light wouldn't had been tainted by that damned death Note."

I had waited for the pain to explode in my heart ... nothing happened ... I finally opened my eyes only to realize that something felt wrong. The time had passed by and by all means I should have been dead by now.

"Yo," a thin woman suddenly materialized in front of me. She looked at me with a slight bored smile on her face. What on earth is she wearing is too revealing? Is she wearing a ninja suit? She's good looking even with the scar on her eye, but not as good looking as my Light-kun. I just returned her greeting, did something supernatural answered my prayers?

"Yes, Lawliet your prayer was answered," the woman responded. She looked like she wanted to tell me more, but she also looked like the kind that wanted to be asked first. She gave me her infuriating grin. "You were right, Light hadn't been destined to be tainted by that Death Note and it hadn't been his time to die. Ryuk messed things up really badly this time around."

I was beginning to get angry by that statement. "You're telling me that the higher ups don't keep in line those crazy shinigamis?" I had to keep my anger in check; I had to start thinking logically. This woman is here for a reason and maybe she can do something about it.

"Yes, I am here to fix Ryuk's blunder but there is a price that you and Light have to pay," I looked at the woman suspiciously but didn't comment. The only thing on my mind was why would Light have to pay the price as well. "Light has to pay a price too since his soul is already tainted by the Death Note," as she told me this I was already having second thoughts about the whole deal. "You don't need to worry about your Light-kun, he won't become Kira?" as she told me this I had tried to ignore the glint in her eyes.

"Very well then, name your price," I bravely asked her. I had a strange feeling that she wasn't telling me everything; my mind kept telling me all of the possibilities of Light's price. I sighed at those thoughts, our trials in our new life. I hope that this time Kira won't ruin both our new lives.

"You will work for the PTB, short for the Powers that Be and your Light-kun gets to live again," she said as a matter of fact as if it were that simple. This is it, there is no going back, Light is going to live again but what will Light-kun's price be. She knows what I am thinking but she doesn't want to tell me anything about him. Light's new future is what's worrying me right now.

"Look, I don't have a lot of time," she was starting to get irritated. "So, is there going to be a Deal or not?" I was beginning to think that the powers or whoever they were screwing up royally with this deal or maybe we were the one's getting screwed over.

TBC


	2. Yesterdays Feelings

**Yesterday's Feelings**

**Part Two: ****When two are one**

By: Shuheivanessa"

SUMMARY: Light's changed world brought to him by Panda-chan and Sayu Oneechan. What, Sayu the older sister?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters; they belong to their creators, etc. The ideas and concepts in this story are mine entirely. If you have any comments you know where to reach me …

Notes: I will like to thank my beta Reader Nocturnal Ferri for being there for me and my stuff. This is a crossover fiction on DN not to be confused as a sequel to the other one of my stories. This isn't a Bleach crossover, but it is a crossover with a certain book.

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**Hope for a better future …**

**When two are one … or … Lose it …**

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Standing on the edge of my sanity, I knew that everything was my fault and that everything that happened was because of my bad karma, even if my father hadn't believed me when I told him that it was. It was my fault that I was born like this…this is my punishment. I have known that something was wrong with me ever since I was little. Now I know the truth, my truth, the whole reason of my existence…to feel the pain of …

I didn't want to get out of bed or even open my eyes to face the day. I didn't want to do anything or even acknowledge that I'm alive. Maybe if I kept my eyes closed I would go back to Mu and all of this would have been a wonderful dream. That dark place I had been in, Mu, that's were somebody like me belongs; a place where I can't hurt anybody. I'm like an Irukandji; my venom kills anybody I touch.

This is it. I'm shaken and I don't want my siblings to know that I'm in much deserved pain. The pain comes from the suffering of those I had hurt during my last incarnation...as Kira. So much indescribable pain that I can't move, but I don't fight it. I welcome all of it, the pain, fear, grief, anguish, and regret.

Well, it's a good thing that the first time I had a vision of my past incarnation happened while I was still in bed. The moment I had the vision, torrents of feelings from Kira's victims hadn't just paralyzed me, they suffocated me. I gratefully passed out when the vision was over. It had happened on my fourteenth birthday. In my past incarnation, she had been the one who was fourteen, and I, her older brother. Now, in this life, she is my neechan and an overbearing and overprotective one at that.

I groaned when I finally decided to open my eyes but was happy to see that it was early morning already. I usually have a horrible headache after my visions but this time my face felt a little damp as well. This was something new; I had never cried during a vision, not even over one as horrible as this one. When I touched my face and looked at my hand, I was shocked to see the tips of my fingers stained with blood. My only question was: Why now? Why didn't this happen during my first vision?

What's going on? This has never happened since I started getting visions last year. But this time I knew that something was different. Something in me had changed when I turned fifteen. I looked at my hands, at my trembling fingers and noticed that my left wrist had a distinct tattoo of a blue flaming skull. I wondered what it was for and where it came from. I covered it with a thick leather bracelet so that my siblings wouldn't notice.

I have never felt this bad and terrible in this life or in my past one. I feel betrayed and hurt about my past crimes. So this is what redemption feels like, regretting every murder, every betrayal and everything I had done to hurt people in my madness as Kira. With what I had done, I have to face myself again. I breathed heavily now, trying to hide how I was feeling so that my siblings wouldn't worry. But now with all the pain, it was hard to put on a mask of indifference.

"_I'm one of the good guys now and I help to save the world with my visions,"_ I repeat myself this until I'm considerably calm. Deep down inside I know that I can't forget about my guilt and this gives me the strength to keep fighting the good fight.

I have to face my guilt head-on and let the memories of everyone I had tortured, killed, manipulated, or used fill my mind. In my past life I had taken pleasure in doing such things, but now I could feel nothing but anguish. I had believed in justice, but then how could I have done such atrocities? I knew all of the seven deadly sins and I had committed every one of them.

What happened to me? When had I lost control of my mind and my life? Was it when I killed criminals with the Death Note? When I faced L? When I corrupted someone into becoming my second Kira? When I manipulated a death god and Misa? When I lost my memories of being Kira the first time? When I began to work with L? When I killed Watari? When I betrayed L? Or was it when I was called as a…yes, that was it, my change of mind.

When I finally turned fifteen everything had turned so blurry. I know that something deep inside my subconscious had gone wrong and it had dulled my senses and my mind.

But I also know that regardless of how screwed up my mind had been and how much I had messed up in my past life, I have no one to blame but myself. I know that I took a wrong turn that sent me down a dark path that lead to my death. I know that I had died and had been in the void. Why in the world am I alive again? Why didn't L make sure that I was gone forever? The world's greatest detective didn't deserve his title; he didn't get rid of me for good.

I may have never taken a life with my bare hands, but I always felt it when I took someone's life with the Death Note. Now I know what I had felt back then, the feeling of someone's life in your hands: a living being that could had become someone if I hadn't stepped in to erase their life. I remember the power and the exhilaration from the act. It was like a drug to me; to kill without remorse is to feel like I'm above others.

I cursed myself as I thought about that candy-eating panda man. Why does everything have to revolve around Panda-chan? Why can't I just admit that L was an asshole? The truth is, I had betrayed the one person who had understood me: him. I had considered the older detective my best friend. I wonder if he exists in this reality.

I sighed and decided to get ready for the day; I showered to clean the blood from my face then donned a fresh change of clothes. Fortunately for me it was a Saturday, so I had the whole weekend to sort through my past memories.

Since we lived in a big manor, I opted to orb into the kitchen, badly startling my niisan and making him spill his orange juice on his pants. He gave me a short glare and complained that he had to change clothes again. I think that he was just a little mad because I startled him and because I have the ability to orb when he can't. The manor was big; it was going to take him some time to get to his room and come back for breakfast. I didn't mind one bit.

The rooms are old-fashioned, just like my big brother. I think that was the reason why we continued to live here after Dad died three years ago. The only good thing about the house was the big chimney; it warmed the house pretty quickly.

What a shocking turn my new life has taken. All three Death Note users now live together in almost perfect harmony as siblings. Sure we have a new life, but we didn't have the time to live it. My niisan Teru is 21 years old, and not only does he have to work to keep our family together but he has to fight evil as well. There's not enough time in the world for him to care for us while working as a lawyer—again—and to fight evil mythical beings that want to destroy the…never mind.

Then there is another shock in this new lifetime: Sayu is my older sister now. She's 21 and works in a restaurant as a cook. Misa-Misa is my next oldest oneechan and she's 18. She works as a model and I'm still surprised that we were able to cover up all of the supernatural happenings from the media. Unfortunately, she still lusts after me. I'm her little brother, yet she still wants me. She never makes any sense. The only thing she ever said that did make sense was that she thought she was being punished but didn't know why. I'm the only one that knows why Teru, Misa and I are being punished.

We have to face our punishments and nobody knows what we are going through. Nobody. Not even our white lighter. The constant fear of never being forgiven for past crimes haunts us. Teru might not acknowledge it but deep down in his dirtied soul he knows that we need to save as many as we had killed. Misa-Misa is the same to some extent. She wants redemption but, by the looks of things, she is willing to give it up just so she could touch me intimately.

In the meantime, I'm ashamed of myself. I let her get her physical comfort from me and I do anything she wants with my body. Teru and Sayu haven't noticed yet. I think that niisan's too overworked to notice that his youngest sister is getting physical indulgence from their little brother. Sayu still believes everything I tell her. How melodramatic I have become after a year of having visions. Now, all of the excruciating pain I had to endure from the visions and from Misa's harassment make more sense to me. I believe that I am suffering the most because I had been the mastermind of it all in our past lives and the three of us are working for our redemption by saving people. But, why is Sayu here?

I ate breakfast with Teru, Sayu and Misa. Sayu cooked breakfast for us like always: spicy eggs mixed with chicken, chopped tomato, onion and jalapenos. We have orange juice but I love my morning coffee more, even thought Sayu disagrees with my tastes. I think that Sayu is the only one who can manage to create a peaceful atmosphere while we're together. Sayu not only looks older but seems to be more in control now. She has matured in this life and helps Teru in keeping our family together. Teru works a little too hard though. In the past I had considered Sayu to be a nuisance, but now we are closer than we have ever been before.

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**Sayu's POV**

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I love to make my family happy, especially when I cook. I'm glad that this time I'm the one taking care of Light instead of the other way around. When I look at him now I still can't believe that my sweet little brother had been Kira in his previous life.

I can still remember the day that he was born. I already knew what was happening and what was going on with Mom. I still laugh at how un-cool and panicked my Dad had looked. It was his fourth child yet he still worried like it was his first. I had hoped so badly that this time my sweet little brother Light would come back to me.

I remember thinking about everything that I would teach Light back then and how I would change him for the better. I _am_ changing him for the best. Now that he has visions, it's like he's trying to redeem himself. I just hope that he never gets any visions of his past life.

I think that I'm the only one that remembers our past. Fortunately, my parents and siblings don't remember anything. My parents had been blissfully ignorant of my brother's past life. When my father took me to see my newborn little brother I already knew who he was.

I know who he is right now; he is Light and I, Sayu, will protect him from harm. Well, I have already brewed up a potion to get rid of those pesky shinigamis, especially Ryuk. I know the truth now and I know that there are things out there that can hurt my brother, evil things like that nasty shinigami.

Since the first time that I saw my baby brother cocooned in a blanket in our mother's arms, I knew then that I was going to protect and guide him. No matter what he had done in our past life I still loved and cared for him. I was going to be the best sister that he has ever had.

Light was only three when our mother had just died of a disease. Misa and Teru like always looked impassive. The only ones aware of what had happened that night was little Light and I before dad came to us with the news. My baby brother had cried so sorrowfully in my embrace that night. I wiped his tears away and told him that I loved him and that I would be with him for as long as he needed me to hold his hand. After a while, he smiled at me then fell asleep. I have always felt comfort and warmth from his smile. Such a beautiful smile; it was something that he would give only to me and not to anyone else, not even Teru or Misa. For some reason, I don't like them much either.

The next time we had seen our father had been at Mom's funeral. Like we need dad now, some help he was when mom needed him. Teru and Misa stood besides him. They weren't hugging or even holding onto Dad; they just stood there. I held Light's hand and kept reassuring him that Mom was in a better place and that she would watch over us. I have to watch out for my baby brother, not just from the supernatural stuff, but from adoring fans when he gets older. I know this to be true because of past experience.

My baby brother thinks that I'm just being a mother hen. He's fifteen now and thinks that he's too old for me to coddle him. It's so cute when he tells me that he wants to look for a job and contribute to the family. I think that he's still too young for a job, but don't think that he's too old for me to baby him. I just worry that he might get mugged, kidnapped or, god forbid, something even worse. He doesn't know how shattered I would be if something were to happen to him again.

I can't help being a little overprotective. I have watched over him since he was born. He would always be my little baby brother but he has turned into such a handsome teen that I can't help but give him a mischievous grin. I will beat any of his adoring fans off with a stick if I have to.

I have always loved to look into his beautiful honey-colored eyes until he would tell me that I needed to find a boyfriend and that he wasn't a little kid anymore. He was now the one giving me advice in dating and I would think to myself: when did he grow up?

After breakfast Light asked, "Sayu, the best sister in the whole world, can I borrow the car?" Light gave me his sweetest voice yet. I already knew that he had band practice but I just couldn't help but let him plead for the car. He is still fifteen so he needs rules so that I can trust him with the car. Teru seems disinterested as always, but he just looks that way. In fact, he was the one who had taught Light how to drive.

Before handing him the keys I said, "Ok, Mister, there are only three things you need to know. The first thing is that you have to call me. The second is that you can only be out until nine, but if you want to stay out later, you have to call me before. The last one is that you have to keep your cell phone on at all times in case of an emergency." I gave him a stern look.

He agreed with my demands and left pretty quickly. I think that he left skid marks on the floor. This time around, I encourage my brother to have hobbies besides school work and demon hunting. I looked at Teru and Misa to check with them. Teru showed me his own cell phone and Misa looked half asleep.

If Misa had been more awake she would have argued that Light was too young to drive and that she hadn't gotten that privilege when she was fourteen. I know Misa and she is the most irresponsible person I have ever seen. I trust Light; he is responsible and knows his own limits. My little brother is even doing the pre-requisites for Brown College.

Teru interrupted my thoughts and asked if I could orb him near his job and Misa asked the same. I had work to do, but I complied anyway .They are my siblings and, as such, I have to help them.

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**Light's POV**

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Like always, I was running late for band practice when I noticed a black notebook in front of the porch. When I went to pick up the innocent looking notebook, I read the cover's simple white letters…No…it can't be…

This can't be happening to me. This has to be a horrible dream. I have changed. I'm saving innocent people and I have visions with mind-numbing headaches. As I held the retched thing, I began to get strange feelings from the black notebook. Who did these feelings belong to? I can't tell…sympathy, adoration, guilt, love?

Who did this notebook belong to? With the notebook still in my hands, I tried to figure out what to do with it. I thought about my past and sighed with wistfulness in how it felt to control somebody's life and how easy it had been to erase them from existence. I had felt such orgasmic desire back then, but now as I remembered everything that I had done my eyes filled with tears…

Why on earth do I have the same feelings as before? I feel so powerless when it comes to my emotions that I can't help but to feel aroused at the thought of killing again…I have to try and block these horrible feelings…I have been given a second chance and this time I would do things differently…this time I will change my future…Who or what gave me this second chance I don't know, but I do know that in this second chance…this new life…I am still holding…

**A Death Note** …

**T.B.C …**


	3. Chapter 3

Wow! First I would like to say, "A lot has happened, new job, more responsibilities, and same old thing. But anyways, I think that I can star again hope to find my beta reader

… Nocturnal Ferri, yes I found her and yes she was kind enough to beta read. She was also kind enough to bring the new notes and like always I appreciate your notes and specially your comments they are very helpful indeed, than you!

"Part Three"

By: Shuheivanessa"

SUMMARY: His doubt, confusion … their hope, confusion and his lack of knowing, confusion … will it all come together in the end …

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, they belong to their creators, etc. The ideas and concepts in this story are mine entirely. If you have any comments you know where to reach me …

NOTES 1: This is AU, crossover, etc, etc. Also, the events in my fic are going in a different direction than the events that are portrayed in the actual series. This is movie based and some anime. A Kanji is the world's deadliest jellyfish it can kill a person in ten minutes. Mu is the world of nothing, I think or something like that.

Notes 2: This is a crossover with other shows.

Someone's POV

_Where am I?_ was my only thought as I struggled to wake up, and when I regained my bearings, I soon realized that I was on a beach; an empty and abandoned beach. Fortunately for me, the sand felt warm and welcoming and the soft breeze soothed my skin as well. Am I really a guardian angel? What kind of powers do … I spoke too soon as thousands of voices crashed into my consciousness. What is this? Why am I hearing all of these people?

"The reason why you can hear them is because all of them are innocent and in need of your help, especially your new charge," said the annoying and yet pleasant sounding voice that began to speak to me once again. "Just try to relax and imagine your mind surrounded by a wall," she said. Wait a minute is she here, I looked around as I followed her melodic voice I realized that I wasn't alone anymore as she sat next to me.

As I tried out what she told me, my headache began to lessen until it finally settled into a dull throb. I was about to start figuring out what to do, but since she's here, I decided to just let her explain. I'm a guardian angel now, but to whom? I am also working for the higher ups now. What on earth am I supposed to be doing? How am I supposed to do anything when I barely can use my angel powers? Well, these angel powers didn't come with instructions and …

"Whoa, calm down there. You are a guardian angel but only to one person. Do you know who that is?" She looked at me like I'm supposed to know—could it be him? — but she continued. "Yes, you're working for them but you also have some free reign and you, my panda looking friend, are supposed to guide him onto the right path and help him realize that the choices that he makes not only affect him but others as well. Right now, I am your teacher and guide to help you learn about your angelic powers, Panda angel."

I began to grow tired of her knowing what I was thinking but all I managed to say was, "What am I supposed to be doing now, oh great 'teacher'?" I wanted to learn as fast as possible and I wasn't in the mood to support her antics, just like I had to deal with that fake blonde bimbo.

"Hey, you're so mean, Panda angel, I'm not a fake blonde dontcha know." Wow, and she didn't even complain about the bimbo part.

She immediately gave me a crash course on Angelnomics 101. Fortunately, it didn't take long for me to get the basics, and so she left me to my own devices, telling me that she was going to go molest a strawberry or something like that. After she left, I began to wonder about my next move.

I thought a while about visiting him and seeing him from afar. I might have reservations about going to visit my successors, but I … the thought of seeing and meeting him again terrified me even more than death itself. What if he hates me, what if he remembers and hates me? I still feel … love … What if he can't stand the sight of me? There is still too much bad blood between us.

I have angel powers now, so I could watch him from afar if I wanted to. I could do it, and I did. I sensed where he was and orbed near his place. I knew that it had worked because I could feel his presence. He's alive and pure, so working for them, the higher-ups, would all be worth it. Now all I had to do was see how he is doing.

When I first set my sight on him, he still had that boyish charm of his. But the biggest surprise … Sayu is his big sister now. She looked good as an adult. But anyway, seeing him alive ... I couldn't … I could barely … All I could see was his radiance and strength … to actually see him and feel … I'm not ready to meet him again, at least not yet, and so …

Near's POV

It's finally finished. After all those years of paperwork and legalization procedures, this place is finally finished: the new Whammy House, I mean, the "Lawliet Institute." I decided to dedicate this new institute to the former L. Unlike its sibling the Whammy House, who turns genius orphans into great detectives and now watchers, this one was dedicated purely to the supernatural, helping the people that fight it like the slayers since L died in such a manner. I also decided to add great people that have been involved in the supernatural, like Faith Wilkins, Dawn Summers and Alexander Harris. I will never forget how I met them and in such dire circumstances, I think that he would have wanted me to help them.

The three of them had decided to leave their home, their friends and family behind to defend this world just like _he_ did and just like we finally did. But unlike them we just moved our dreams towards different goals, my first little family was separated by different organizations but we would always have something in common, L. Sometimes I wish Alex, Dawn and Faith would had met him, L, the worlds greatest detective. I still have Matt and Mello and that's enough for me. Matt had decided to accept my offer and stay in charge of the first Whammy's House while Mello had decided to stay as head of the London mafia. Fortunately, every once in a while we have a small reunion in Lawliet's institute. Today we were gathered here in my office not only remembering our strange meetings with L, but those with each other as well.

"Near, will you stop doing that? Your big head is over thinking again. Aren't we supposed to check these books I brought back?" Mello drawled at me. I snapped out of my daze and I finally acknowledged him. Mello has been a great help since L passed away. Both Matt and Mello were helping me in spotting the authentic books from the copies.

In truth I think that the only reason that Mello-drama helps is because he likes Miss Summers. I think that he's trying to impress her with his skills in acquiring obscure books from unknown places. Matt, on the other hand, well, I think that he likes a certain slayer, seeing that he's always training with Miss Wilkins …

"This is boring. I think that I'll see if Faith is available for some training." Matt was about to leave when Faith appeared.

"Hey guys, why didn't you tell me that you had new books with you? I want to help too." She walked in, made herself at home and began to read one. Matt never stood a chance; he just turned right around and sat next to her on the floor in front of the fire place. This was nothing new to me; she always goes out of her way to help with anything, whether it was training the new slayers from this continent, doing research or even helping out with house chores.

The first time I met her I had wondered why I had seen such pain and sorrow in her eyes, and I questioned why she helps. She has lived a rough life; she has lost a lot, but most of all, she knows what is like to be alone.

Fortunately, she isn't alone anymore and I think that Mello is slowly but surely bringing the joy of living back to her. I looked at them and smiled a little, watching them look through the new tomes, this time, on the topic of herbs. It's not surprising that Mello was interested in herbs since he enjoys one of them a little too much for my liking.

Miss Summers is another case. She, unlike Miss Wilkins, can hide her sadness. I don't know what Mello is trying to do, but at least he's trying to help her in his own strange way. Mello was alone right now, so I wondered where Miss Summers was.

"Miss Wilkins, is Miss Summers in another Council meeting today?" I asked her. She gave me this incredulous look, then to Mello and then back to me. I know that she doesn't like formalities but I still enjoy getting a rise from her.

"Come on whitey-chan, you know I hate formalities and, yes, DAWN is in a slayer meeting right now," she said, and then continued to read the large tome. Ever since she came back from Japan she keeps trying to either butcher up the language, practice or annoy me.

I sighed and stretched my arms wide. I thought that I needed a break and so I decided to move around and get everyone bottled water from the fridge. They all accepted the water gratefully. As I was returning to my desk, Miss Summers finally walked into the room. She was carrying a large bag.

Miss Summers looked excited; I'm thinking that the new weapons have arrived from America. Miss Wilkins was beginning to look quite excited as well.

"I am excited to announce that the different types of wood have arrived yesterday. Xander was kind enough to make stakes out of the different types so I can show you," she excitedly exclaimed. "Now we have ash, Arbre du Ténéré, well they actually had a hard time trying to get this one." She handed me the last type, just to prove it's importance. "There is also the Baobab, the drago Milenario, pine, oak, cedar, cypress, and Gingko. All of these aren't just for vampires but for different demons as well. I also …" I completely tuned her out and dropped the stake when I saw someone in the doorway that I thought I would never see again.

As we stood speechless and with some degree of morbid fascination, he just calmly looked at us and carefully closed the door of my office. He leaned on the closed door and studied us carefully. It was like he was either trying to remember us or couldn't believe it was actually us. But what about him? He hasn't aged at all; he still looks the same. Is he still the same, is he still himself?

Mello was the first to recover his speech. The rest of us continued to stare. "Is it you? You haven't aged …" by the looks of it, Mello couldn't go on.

I think that he asked us something but my mind was too shocked to realize what he was asking.

"No, it can't be … you can't possibly be …" Matt said. I couldn't take my eyes of him, our visitor. At the very least, he kind of looked concerned about us. "You can't be alive," he concluded. Mello nodded his head in agreement and silently pointed at him.

"_**Matt is right. You died. Who could be this cruel to show us … this?"**_ Mello was already in hysterics. "We were at your funeral and you have a grave. Are you a devil … a zombie or a … vampire?" Mello's frantic speech halted as he began to gasp for air.

"L …" I finally managed to whisper.

To Be Continued …


End file.
